I will admit, my decision to use a midwife was largely a financial one. My husband had started his own business and with only major medical health insurance we were left to foot the bill of having a baby entirely out-of-pocket. I had had four normal, healthy pregnancies prior to this one and my husband and I both felt good that this fifth one would be the same. So it really became up to me and whether I wanted to opt for a natural birth. I wanted to be committed and completely on board before I got pregnant. So I met with a couple of midwives and talked to girls I knew who had used them. I felt confident that this was something that I could do and then it became something that I wanted to do.

The first time I met with Janae I knew she was a good fit for me. She was competent and experienced, and yet was very open to letting me decide how I wanted to do things. I really enjoyed the entire nine months of visits. I was used to an hour appointment at a doctor's office where you got 3-4 minutes of face time with the doctor. With Janae, I got an hour of great advice and care from her each month. She would help me think of things I hadn't thought of.

I read books to prepare myself for the stages of labor and how to cope with them. My favorite book was The Birth Partner, by Penny Simkin. All throughout I felt I was really doing well at my mental preparation for what I was about to do. I was preparing for an epidural-free birth, but I didn't think to prepare for a pitocin-free birth. I realized as I passed my due date that no doctor was giving me an out and saying, "Let's just schedule you to be induced." While I was glad of that deep down (I definitely didn't want another pitocin-induced labor), the idea of potentially going 14+ days overdue had not even occurred to me. But at 3 days "overdue" I mentally changed my "due" date to two weeks past my original due date and that helped a lot. Then I felt very lucky when I went into labor at only 41 weeks.

I realized I was in labor around noon on a Sunday. I was only having one or two contractions an hour, but for me I don't have any contractions until I'm in labor. I began packing my kids for their stay with grandma & grandpa. It was a good way to pass the time and keep my mind off things. I went to dinner at my parents that night. Around 6pm I let Janae know what was going on, just so she had a heads up. By 9pm I was having contractions every 15 minutes and I didn't feel like being social anymore. I just wanted to get home so I could relax and focus on what I was about to do. So my husband and I left the kids and headed home. We watched a movie to pass the time while he noted my progress on paper (length, time between, and intensity of contractions). By midnight, they were about 60-90 seconds long and coming every 3-4 minutes, so I texted Janae. When she came I was dilated to a five. And then the work began. I was able to relax and let my body work for the first few hours after Janae arrived. By 4am I was dilated to an 8. Unfortunately, my baby did not want to drop into the birth canal, so the next couple of hours were spent in more intense labor where I tried several different positions to try to help things along. I spent about an hour doing little pushes with each contraction to help my baby move down. Transition came during that period and I began to think this was never going to end. The relaxation rhythms that had helped me to this point no longer seemed to be as helpful. My body was tired and I became a bit panicky as the thought occurred that there was no backing out now, and yet I didn't know if I could do this. I had read about transition, but it's amazing how intense it is in real life. I felt like that for only about 30 minutes when Janae helped me dilate the last tiny bit and position my baby for pushing. And then came the urge to push. WOW, nothing quite describes how intense that feels, and yet how relieving it is to know you're finally almost done. My body seemed to revive with energy and I put all I had into the task of pushing. And then it was all over. It amazed me at what an abrupt end there was to it. At 7:07 am my beautiful baby boy was out and laying on my chest and I just couldn't believe how great it was to have him here.

As I look back, I still remember how much more work was involved in a natural birth than my previous four epidural births. And yet, I'd do it again. It was a far more satisfactory birth than my others. I felt in charge the whole time and I know now that I can do it. I'm grateful to have had this experience. Most of all I am so grateful to Janae who worked so hard during my laboring process. Between her, my husband, and Janae's assistant Trisha, I was kept comfortable with hot towels. And Janae kept me informed as to what was going on and the progress I was making. She encouraged me when I thought I couldn't do any more and her competence helped bring my healthy baby boy here. And my husband's touch was a critical component in my being able to get through this and feel totally taken care of. He was indispensable.