Almost 8 years ago when I found out I was going to be a mother for the first time, I was overwhelmed with excitement and the prospect of this new great responsibility. Growing up I had never really had any opportunities to be around pregnant women or babies. The whole thing was so new and wonderful to me. I was determined to “do it all right.” So I set out to learn everything I could so I could be “prepared.” I was taking college courses at the time and I was given an assignment to write a controversial paper in my English class. Well, you can guess the topic I chose- Childbirth. I dove into every book, paper, and magazine that had anything to do with having babies. I talked to every woman I came across and it didn’t take me long to see there was definite “controversy” in the way women give birth. Up until that point I don’t think I even gave it a blinking thought. I assumed you just go into labor, go to the hospital and let the doctor do the rest. Boy was I wrong! After several months of research and many hours preparing, my mind was made up- I was defiantly on the side of “natural childbirth.” I wondered how could anyone possibly want anything else. It seemed so simple. In my young, inexperienced mind I felt that “natural childbearing” was just the way God intended and anything else was just wrong. In my heart I really considered a home delivery, but with the many strong opinions and advise from several friends, and family members I decided to deliver in the hospital, but I had my heart set on an “un-medicated” delivery. I went to Bradley Method classes, I read every book, I exercised and prepared to the best of my ability. I was sure things would go just the way they “should”. Once again I was mistaken.

The happy day came, at 2 PM my water broke and immediately I was on my way to the hospital to have my baby. 5 hours later, I was still walking the halls and my labor was sporadic at best. I would have some good contractions and then they would simply go away. I was getting frustrated but I knew the “tricks” so I got on my knees, took a shower, and walked the halls until I was exhausted. When I finally relaxed in my room, my labor slowed down and if I stayed there the nurses would keep poking, prodding and strapping me down with the EFM –which I had requested not to have. I was getting more and more anxious and the nurses were not being helpful. By about 10 PM I was having hard, consistent contractions 1 minute apart. I was sure it would be over soon. I was handling the pain with my breathing and concentration, but after 4 hours of excruciating back labor I had only dilated 1 more cm. I was about to give up. It was about 2 AM and I was sure I was in transition, but I was only at 7 cm. My good husband “coach” was cheering me on and doing everything he learned to do. I told him I would go 1 more hour. Three miserable hours later I had only moved 1 more centimeter and my body began to shake uncontrollably. I couldn’t do it any longer. They gave me an epidural, my labor stopped and I fell asleep. At 7AM they started me on pitosin to start my contractions again and 2 hours later I delivered my little baby girl.

Well- after my 20-hour labor and delivery with my first child I was not about to try and stay home when my second baby arrived only 22 months later. Again I attempted to deliver without medication and after 15 hours of unsuccessful dilation and my labor stopping at 8 cm I gave up again. At that point I was sure I would never have another child. Then only 10 months later, in spite of prevention “SURPRISE” our third baby was on the way. Home delivery was not even an option at that point, I could hardly hold myself together. Again we had a long, hard, medicated delivery in the hospital. Two and a half years went by. I was terrified to have another child. With 2 brothers to tickle and teaser her, my oldest daughter, now 6 years old, was praying ever day for a sister. I was open to “having” more children as long as I didn’t have to birth them. We looked into adoption because I was so incredibly scared to do it again. For nearly 6 months I felt like there was another child for us, but could not bring myself to do it. Then with much inspiration and assurance from God, after only 2 months of no “prevention” we were expecting our fourth baby. I went to my same Doctor, who I very much admired and respected, but seven and a half months into the pregnancy I decided that if I wanted a different experience I would have to “do” something different.

I called Janae and asked her if it was too late to do a home birth. She assured me it wasn’t and she would help me through. So I began to see her each week. I was scared. I battled every imaginable fear, but I put my trust in God. Janae was a great source of comfort. With all three of my previous deliveries I went earlier than my projected “due date.” This time I was several days over and ready to loose heart. Then one night my husband and I sat down to enjoy a movie while our children were away at their grandparents. About 8 PM I began to have consistent contractions about 1 to 2 minutes apart. They were not strong but they became more and more regular so I started to time them. By 9 PM they were getting stronger and I was having to breath a little harder. I told my husband to call Janae for me. I was still not sure if I was in labor- I had never really gone into it on my own (the doctors always broke my water first). Just talking with me Janae could tell it was the real thing. I got into a hot bath and waited. Janae was on another delivery so she didn’t arrive until about 10:15 PM. By then I was dilated to a 7 and progressing quickly. The labor was strong, but the water really helped with the pain. Right at eleven o’ clock Janae checked my dilation and I was beyond 8 cm. The baby’s head was so close, but caught on my cervix. Janae said we could wait for my body to finish dilation or I could get out of the tub and she could help it finish. I was ready to be done so we got out, she put me in a different position, lifted the cervix a little, and with only 2 pushes my sweet baby girl was born.

It was the fastest, most wonderful and enjoyable delivery I had experienced. In contrast to the cold, sterile, uncomfortable hospital, I was in the quiet and dimly lit warmth of my own home. The tub was a perfect place to relax for my early labor. One of the greatest parts for me was having it be a family experience. Even though I had family in the hospital rooms with each of my previous deliveries, it was a whole different experience. I had family in other rooms there to help and be support. They were an integral part of all that was happening. My step mom was taking notes for Janae. My mom was right there ready with warm blankets. My sweet daughter who had prayed for and dreamed of having a sister was right there waiting and watching. She was overcome with emotion and tears of joy streamed down her cheeks as she saw her baby sister come into the world. It was a beautiful, memorable moment in time I will cherish forever. I only wish I would have been brave enough to have had all my children in the comfort of home and family. I am grateful for modern medicine when it is needed, but having a home delivery truly was the most gratifying and amazing experience of my life.

- Amanda Hansen